The Grass Is Greener Where You Water It: The Deceptions in Comparison
Is it just me, or does it sometimes feel like everyone else has it all figured out? Why does it feel like my neighbor's grass is always lush, green, and perfectly trimmed, while mine feels patchy and overrun with weeds?
As we approach Thanksgiving, I wanted to take a moment to address the deceptions in comparison. The holiday season, is a season where comparison runs ramped through our mind. We are looking in every direction at people living their best lives and sometimes that can be triggering when you feel like you are lacking or not exactly where you want to be. There are two quotes that come to mind when thinking about these feelings.
Comparison is the thief of joy.
Not everything that glitters is gold.
When we compare our lives to others, we often overlook the beauty and greatness already present in our own. It's easy to focus on what we lack, especially when there will always be more to strive for—someone living "better," achieving "more," or experiencing things we can only dream of. But as we admire the flourishing lives of those around us, it's crucial to pause and reflect: the life we wake up to every day, no matter how chaotic, unpolished, or challenging it feels, might be someone else’s impossible dream. What you consider "ordinary" could be the extraordinary that someone else is praying for.
Think about it—what if the version of yourself from years ago could see you now? Wouldn’t they be in awe of how far you've come? The things you’ve achieved, the obstacles you’ve overcome, the opportunities you’ve created? Gratitude isn’t about ignoring your ambitions or pretending everything is perfect. It’s about recognizing that while striving for more, you’re already enough.
The danger in comparison is that it blinds us to the unique beauty of our own journey. Every messy, unorganized, and tumultuous part of your life is shaping us into someone stronger, wiser, and more resilient. And while we're busy wishing for what someone else has, someone else is looking at us, wishing for even a fraction of what we’ve built.
And Social media doesn’t help—it’s like a constant highlight reel of success stories, perfect relationships, and dream vacations, making it way too easy to glance over the fence and feel like you’re falling behind. It has a way of turning life into a curated masterpiece. Filters, captions, and perfectly timed posts make it look like everyone is living their best, most effortless life. But what we often forget is that these snapshots are just that—snapshots. Carefully selected moments that may not tell the full story.
We don’t see the sleepless nights, the sacrifices, or the struggles that go into achieving those picture-perfect milestones. We don’t see the behind-the-scenes challenges—failed attempts, heartbreaks, or compromises—that people had to endure to get where they are. Even the happiest smiles can mask personal battles we’ll never know about.
My first two years in Los Angeles were some of the hardest years of my life. Behind the scenes, I was fighting battles that only those closest to me knew about. Yet, when I posted on Instagram, it was all smiles and sun-kissed photos under the California sky. The reality? Those moments were carefully chosen to mask what I was truly feeling.
When my friends and family from the East Coast saw my posts, they would gush about how well I seemed to be doing. “You look so happy!” they’d say, “We’re so proud of you!” And while I smiled and thanked them, all I could think was, If you only knew.
It’s easy to assume someone else’s journey is easier or better than our own when all we’re seeing are the polished highlights. But here’s the thing: we only ever see what people want us to see. Social media isn’t real life; it’s a tailored narrative.
So, as we move through this holiday season—a time of gratitude, reflection, and togetherness—let’s remind ourselves that comparison is a losing game. It steals our joy, distorts our perspective, and keeps us from fully embracing the beauty of our own lives. Instead of letting the highlight reels make you feel inadequate, let's focus on watering our own grass.
As we close out another year, let's celebrate our small victories, honor our growth, and take pride in the life we’re building. Acknowledge the struggles that have shaped us, the dreams we’re still chasing, and the blessings we already have. The truth is, life doesn’t have to look perfect to be meaningful—it just has to be authentically yours.
So For all the girls who sometime's find themselves lost in a cycle of comparison, let’s commit to gratitude—not just for the shiny moments, but for the messy, unfiltered ones that remind us of how far we’ve come. Because when we stop comparing and start appreciating, we’ll find that the grass we’ve been tending all along is already greener than we realized.
