Me SZN: The Selfish Years We Will Never Get Back
Whoever was the first person to say "The world doesn't revolve around you" was simply a hater. My world is most definitely a glamorous orbit of a single woman in her early 20s, with no children or husband. It absolutely revolves around me. Often times, I am so busy hyper focusing on the future and how I want it to look. I want the dream life, with the perfectly imperfect husband, the big family, and the dream career... and I'm not ashamed to admit that. I have spent so many days visualizing what that life will be like, and how I can take steps now to get there. And while that is important, and it is crucial to work towards the life I want. It's important to stop and think, I am literally in the most liberating days of my life. I have no attachments, nothing demanding my attention or holding me back, and while I'm excited for the future, I don't want to waste today obsessing about tomorrow, and when tomorrow arrives I'm regretting the fact that I didn't take that trip, that I didn't lounge around my apartment drinking wine and watching Sex and the City, completely in love with my solitude. This realization has been pivotal for me. Here are some things that I am embracing in Me SZN that allow me to really focus on myself, the present, and the days that one day I'll be so wishing I could get back.
Taking Spontaneous Trips-- Big and Small: Hear me when I say we are in our pick up and go era. Take that trip, even if you have to go alone. There is something so empowering about literally just doing. Stop overthinking, stop wishing you had someone to tag along. Listen to some music, a good podcast, bring a book, and EXPLORE. It's solace in solitude, we just have to find it.
Dating myself: I'm not saying don't date anyone else- while sometimes that is nice and needed to. But something that I have really fallen in love with is just treating myself the exact way I want my partner to treat me. I buy myself flowers as often as I feel, take myself to dinner or a movie. I love being in love, and can't wait to have a partner on the other end of the table-- but I'm okay with courting the woman on this side of the table for now.
Pouring into my friendships: One thing that I love to do is binge talk to my friends. Whether it be over drinks, dinner, or 4 hour facetime calls with my long distance BFFs, I do it. A part of pouring into ourselves is pouring into the people who love and support us. That love and support has gotten me through my darkest days and I want to continue to cultivate and grow the loving relationships that have enhanced my life so much.
Treating myself: I am a Capricorn, so quite literally money is ALWAYS on my mind. I have always had a weird relationship with buying myself things. Small petty things, like food, ubers, etc... I never minded. But in the past, big purchases scared me, I hated seeing large amounts of money leave my account. I didn't mind spending on others, but I had to really really want something- to buy it for myself. Those days are over! The money I wake up and go to work for every single day is MINE and mine ALONE-- and while I still prioritize financially responsibility- I have embraced splurging on myself. Add to cart, Add to cart, and if apple pay is an option, even better.
Unapologetic Lazy Days: I used to beat myself up for wanting to lounge. I could spend all day on a feedback loop from the kitchen, bathroom, and the bed. But it always felt so unproductive. But these days are needed. Imagine the time when you will be coming home from work after a long day and all you want to do is lay down, and the minute you do you hear "Mommy, Mommy..." Yeah, I'm relaxing in advance for my future self, I know she will appreciate it.
Therapy: This was a game changer for me. Talking to my therapist feels like I've got my own personal reality show, where I spill all the tea from the previous episode in the confessional. On today's episode of "Keeping Up with My Mental Health". I get to talk about myself, what's bothering me, what I'm excited about, and basically anything under the sun, and for an entire hour? I truly don't know why it took me 24 years of life to start this.
Passion Projects: I won't always have time to pour this amount of time into the things I love that really just feed my soul. Having small or big projects (Like For All The Girls Who), that I set and hit goals for, is so satisfying. Passions are such an interesting concept. So many of us abandon them, because our realism takes over our optimism and we think that if we aren't able to make money off them immediately-- it's a waste of time. There's a reason our hearts feel called to things. I am making time for the passions that set my soul on fire, while I have ample time to give to them. I'm investing in myself while time is on my side. Our biggest dreams are on the other side of fear.
Staying out late/ Sleeping In: I don't care what narrative the media tries to push about women who enjoy the club, or going out, or don't wake up before 11. Some of my best memories with my homegirls came after the sun came up from a night that started the day before. I wish my body could allow me to sleep past 10 am, but my internal clock, just won't allow it. But if yours does, I'm jealous. One thing I will do though, is a constant cycle of naps after a long night on the town. And you know why? Cause I can... and I'm hungover after a great night. Sue me.
Creative Expression: Doing creative things is so fun and good for the brain and the soul. It has effects on brain health, emotional well-being, and cognitive functioning. My best friend got me an adult coloring book, and it is seriously one of the best gifts I've ever gotten. I'm finding outlets for creative expression, whether through art, writing, or other forms, nurturing my creativity for my own enjoyment.
Learning Myself: I'm diving deeper into my thoughts, feelings, and experiences to gain a better understanding of who I am, what I value, and what brings me joy and fulfillment. I'm in a stage where I am asking myself the harder questions like: What do I really like to do? What do I need to feel happy, fulfilled, and at peace with myself? What kind of impact do I want to make on the world? What situations or environments make me feel most alive? As I get to know myself better, I become more self aware. This has helped me with my indecisiveness, my boundaries, and my overall wellbeing.
This is For All The Girls Who find strength in the solitude we won't have forever... This is for you, this is for us.
