She Moves: Starting Fresh In A New City

On July 9th, 2024, I celebrated two years in my dream city, Los Angeles, California. As I write this, I can’t help but smile because this journey has been anything but easy. Yet, no matter how challenging it got, I refused to let anything deter me from my path. Moving is daunting, terrifying even, but it’s also transformative.

I was born in Rancho Cucamonga, California, to parents who are true West Coasters—my mother from the Bay Area and my father from South Central. Though I was raised in New York, I spent countless summers in California, and it’s always been where my heart longed to return.

I didn’t have all the details figured out—I wasn’t sure what I wanted to do or how I’d afford to live in one of the most expensive cities—but I knew one thing for certain: returning to New York after college wasn’t an option for me, and here’s why.

First off, I love New York. It’s the city that shaped me, and I’ll always be grateful for that. But when you’re raised in a city, your relationship with it is different from when you move there. Many of the people I grew up with were proximity friends, and while they were part of my journey, they weren’t necessarily the best influence. I knew that staying in New York would mean falling back into old patterns that I had worked hard to break free from.

There’s something exhilarating about starting over, about the chance to reinvent yourself. It’s an opportunity to choose the best version of yourself that you want to step into on your new journey. You get to leave behind the parts of your past that no longer serve you and embrace the person you’re becoming. It’s a powerful feeling to know that you’re in control of your own narrative, and that each new chapter is a reflection of the growth and wisdom you’ve gained along the way.

My first year in Los Angeles was incredibly tough. My housing situation was a nightmare—from staying with family (which comes with its own set of challenges) and commuting an hour and a half to work every day, to subleasing a place where the tenant received an eviction notice. I moved out here for a job that I ended up despising, and then I lost that same job. I got into an accident and then another one a month later that resulted in me totaling my car. I felt an overwhelming sense of loneliness in friendships and in love, being a social butterfly, friendships have always came very easy to me, but finding genuine community in a city like Los Angeles was definitley a challenge initially. It seemed like nothing was going right, and I was convinced that God didn’t want me here. I felt defeated, frustrated, and alone.

But as I sit here now, as I enter my third year, I’m in a much better place and can truly attest to the fact that the TEST is always right before the TESTIMONY. I am now settled in an apartment I love that’s just 15 minutes from work and five minutes from my grad school campus. I’ve secured a new 9-to-5 job that offers me autonomy, where I feel valued, and the perfect opportunity to couple going back to school with. I recently bought a new car that I’m in love with (her name is Isis). I’ve cultivated an amazing community and formed friendships that sometimes leave me overwhelmed with social invitations and my heart overflowed with love. It took time, prayer, and patience, but it came in all due time.

Moving is hard. Starting over is hard. But those same hardships are what make the eventual happiness so much sweeter. Not having a car for nine months has made me appreciate the simple joy of being mobile. Not having friends I felt safe with, makes the time I spend with friends now that much more near and dear to my heart. Losing a job that I hated, makes me show up to the job that I love everyday with the biggest smile on my face. My life isn’t perfect, there are still so many thing that I want for myself and in general, but I’m out of the murky waters and I just can’t thank God enough. I’m deeply grateful for everything I have now because I remember when those same things seemed so far out of reach.

So, for all the girls who dream of starting fresh in a new city, DO IT. Do it scared. Do it alone. Just do it. But also remember, just because it isn’t easy doesn’t mean it isn’t for you. Sometimes, God is leading you through the murky waters so you can emerge cleansed, renewed, and stronger than before. These moments of grace are preparing you for the next chapter of your journey, with a clearer vision and a deeper sense of purpose.