Before We Were Us: A Valentine’s Day Short Story

The morning light filtered through the blinds, casting a soft glow across the room. Zara’s alarm clock blinked 8:00 AM. She groaned, stretching her limbs, still wrapped in the warmth of her duvet. The slight chill in the air reminded her that it’s early February, and Valentine’s Day is just around the corner. Typically, Zara was not moved by the day that was an ode to love, as the years prior it had been a reminder in the ways in which she had been lacking. But, this year was different for her. This year she was safe to be excited. 

She rolled over to check her phone. There was a string of notifications, but it was the one from Gage that always caught her eye first. Gage is Zara’s boyfriend, who she had been dating for just shy of a year, and this would be their first time celebrating Valentines Day together. 

“Good Morning & Happy almost Valentine’s Day, baby! I can’t wait to celebrate tomorrow. I’ve got something special planned for you... Can’t wait to see your face. I hope you love it. I love you.”

Zara swooned as her eyes scanned his message. It had been 10 months with Gage, and she still found herself questioning if it was too good to be true. Before Gage, she had a hard time in love. She had seen it all, the half commitments, the cheating, the lying, the breadcrumbing, the emotional manipulation. It felt like she’d been through a whirlwind of toxic relationships, each one leaving her a little more guarded, a little more unsure of what real love looked like. She’d settled more times than she cared to admit, convincing herself that any love, even a flawed one, was better than none at all. 

Love. It’s what a woman’s inherent worth is subconsciously tied to from the minute she can digest princess movies as more than just an animated screen. From a young age, we learn that our value is tied to the fairy tales that dance in our imaginations, where a prince’s love can erase our flaws and elevate us to heights we never dreamed possible. As we grow, those tales evolve into societal expectations, whispering that our worth hinges on relationships, appearances, and the validation of others. We find ourselves measuring success by the glow of engagement rings, the applause of romantic gestures, and the fleeting moments of affection that often come with conditions.

And as Zara had navigated the dating pool, that had stale piss in it, she subconsciously lost herself. Dating men that irregulated her nervous system, had her questioning herself, her worth, and, at times, left her feeling like she was drowning in their chaos. She had been conditioned to believe that love was supposed to be a rollercoaster—full of highs and lows, passion and pain. But what she hadn’t realized was that in all those turbulent relationships, she had been losing the most important thing: herself. The average person has at least 60,000 thoughts per day. At that time in Zara’s life, at least 1/10th of those thoughts had been plagued with questions like “Is he going to text me back?” “Why didn’t he call when he said he would?” “Am I being too much?” “Is he really interested, or am I just convenient?” “What did I do wrong?” Each thought felt like a small wave crashing against her sense of self-worth, eroding her confidence little by little. She’d become obsessed with reading between the lines of every message, overanalyzing every interaction, trying to decipher meanings that didn’t exist, all while ignoring the nagging feeling that something wasn’t right.

Her skin had become a reflection of the stress she was carrying, blotchy and tired, as though it too was fed up with the endless cycle of emotional turmoil. Zara wasn’t sleeping well. Her mind raced late into the night, replaying moments she had with men—what they said, what they didn’t say, trying to figure out the right moves to make so that she could feel enough. She barely had the energy to look in the mirror some mornings, let alone show up for herself in ways that felt nurturing and authentic.

Her focus was always on others—on how they saw her, how they felt about her. She poured so much of herself into relationships, trying to make them work, trying to be the right version of herself for the other person, that she neglected the very relationship that mattered most: the one with herself.

One night, Zara’s close friend from college, Valerie, was in town. They had planned to catch up over drinks and dinner. They were seated at a cozy corner table in a dimly lit restaurant, the hum of chatter around them blending with the soft clink of glasses. Zara hadn’t seen Val in years, but as soon as they were in each other's presence, it was like no time had passed. Their conversation flowed effortlessly, just like it always had back in college—laughing about old memories, swapping stories about life after graduation, and reminiscing about the carefree days when they didn’t have to worry about things like dating, career paths, or the weight of growing up.

“So how’s the love life? Any prestigious suitors knocking on your walls– I mean doors?” She teased, her grin widening as she raised an eyebrow. 

“Nobody worth even mentioning…” Zara trailed off. “Honestly, I’m so over this love shit. I’m about to accept the fact that it may just never happen for me.” 

“Zara, what! You’re being dramatic.” 

“It’s always something. ALWAYS,” Zara sighed, her voice a mix of frustration and exhaustion. “Either he’s perfect, but doesn’t want to commit. Or he’s perfect, but there’s no chemistry. Or he’s perfect, but lacks this or that. And the craziest part? I’ll really try to look past ALL of that, because you know… no relationship is perfect. But in the end, I still get the short end of the stick.” She leaned back in her chair, shaking her head, her hands motioning in exasperation. “It’s like, no matter how much I try to make it work, it’s never enough.”

“Because WHY are YOU trying to make it work?” Valerie asked, raising an eyebrow and leaning in with a knowing look. “Girl, you’re over here bending over backward for someone else’s happiness, but what about yours? Why are you constantly giving yourself away to people who aren’t even meeting you halfway?”

Zara paused, the weight of Valerie’s words hitting her harder than she expected. She hadn’t even realized how much she’d been compromising, how much of herself she’d been giving up in the hopes of making things work.

“You know what helped me? And I mean really helped me?” She asked. 

“What?” 

“Pizza Dating.” 

“Okay, if you’re going to tell me to let every man dine me at Little Caesars, I might actually crash out…” Zara and Valerie laughed as they both took a sip of their cocktails. 

“Girl no. Hear me out. Pizza Dating. You start off with the sauce. What are 5 character traits that you want in a man? Non Negotiable! These are the crust.” 

“Oh please, not one of those corny ass build a nig–” 

“Zara!” 

“Okay, okay,” She surrendered with a chuckle. “I guess I want someone who’s ambitious, emotionally intelligent…” She furrowed her brow, pondering a bit longer. “Family-oriented, definitely. He has to be charismatic, because I like to laugh and flirt… And adventurous?” She shrugged, a small smile tugging at the corner of her lips. “You know, someone who can keep things interesting, not just sit at home all the time.”

“Okay, perfect. Now, we move to the sauce. Also NON negotiable. How do you want a man to treat you? Give me 4!” 

“Well, I’d like him to be romantic. I want to feel like I am in a rom com more times than not. I want him to be a provider and a leader, like I can turn my brain off when I’m with him. He has to be engaged/supportive of the things I do. And of course I want him to be loyal. I want to feel like I am the only girl in the world in his eyes.” 

“Okay, we’re cooking, cooking. Toppings?” 

“Well, I personally like Cheese…” 

“Zara!” She playfully scolded. “How do you want him to look. Physical traits but these are negotiable. 

“Well I’d like for him to be well groomed, and well dressed. At LEAST 5’10 or taller, It’d be nice if he had a really nice smile, you know, pretty teeth… And I like an athletic build.” 

“Okay, and now you’ve got your pizza! If that’s what you want and feel you need to be really happy, say no to anything that isn’t that.”

“It sounds perfect on paper, but the question is, where the hell do I find someone who ticks off all these boxes?”

Valerie leaned in, a knowing smile creeping across her face. “The trick is not finding someone who checks every box. It’s finding someone who’s willing to add to your pizza, not take away from it. And for that, you need to be whole first. If you’re not clear on your own ingredients, how can you expect someone else to fill in?”

“Yeah, that’s real,” Zara said, her voice quiet but laced with conviction. “I’m 25, and my mind is so focused on finding my husband, being on track to start a family, and having the life I always envisioned for myself. It’s like I can see it in my mind—the house, the kids, the partner who’s there through it all.” 

“But it starts within, Zara,” Valerie continued, her voice steady. “And I’m never saying that self-love can replace romantic love—I personally think that’s a crock of shit. But what I do believe is that if there is a lack of self-love, you’ll end up accepting less than you deserve, constantly searching for validation from people who don’t even see your worth. You’ll attract what you think you’re worthy of, and right now, it seems like you’re not letting yourself believe you deserve more.”

“You are so right, Val. I think I just need a break, from it all,” Zara admitted, her voice tinged with relief.

“And that’s okay, girl,” Valerie replied with a knowing nod. “Take a break. Men cleanse. Press pause. Figure out who Zara is, what Zara likes, outside of the fairytale.”

Zara smiled, the idea of a pause feeling like a breath of fresh air. “A men cleanse, huh? That sounds kinda dramatic, but I think it’s exactly what I need. No distractions, no trying to make something work just because I feel like I should. Just... me. For once.”

“Exactly. And use that time to get back to yourself, girl. Rediscover what makes you happy, without worrying about who’s texting or who’s not showing up the way you want. You can’t build a healthy relationship if you’re not solid within yourself first,” Valerie said, her tone firm but encouraging.

“Cheers to that girly!” And with that the two clinked glasses. 

Zara spent the next five months cleansing—not just from men, but from limiting beliefs, toxic patterns, and the emotional baggage she had been carrying for far too long. It wasn’t just about taking a break from dating; it was about taking a step back and reevaluating every part of her life. She started reading books that challenged her mindset, journaling her thoughts, and seeking out practices that nurtured her mind, body, and soul. Therapy became a safe space where she could unpack the layers of past trauma and unhealthy relationship dynamics.

She spent time alone—really alone—learning to enjoy her own company without the pressure of needing someone else to fill the void. Zara took long walks by herself, went on solo trips, and started cooking meals for one with the same love and care she’d once reserved for someone else. She rediscovered passions she had put aside, like painting and yoga, and began exploring new hobbies without any expectation of proving herself to anyone.

Zara also tackled the deeply ingrained limiting beliefs that had been holding her back. She realized that she had spent so much time trying to mold herself into someone else’s idea of who she should be—whether it was a partner, a friend, or a career woman—that she had lost sight of the woman she was becoming. 

The process wasn’t always easy. There were days when she felt overwhelmed by the silence of her own thoughts, moments when loneliness crept in, and doubts whispered that maybe she wasn’t really healing at all. But with each step, Zara grew stronger, more confident in her own skin. She learned how to sit with her feelings instead of pushing them away, and how to move forward without needing to rush.

As she approached the six-month mark of her men cleanse, Zara was feeling better than ever. Her skin was glowing, clear of the stress and anxiety that had once plagued her. She had finally taken the plunge and gotten a curly cut that transformed her hair—voluptuous, bouncy, and healthy again, framing her face with a new confidence she hadn’t realized she was missing. Her body, too, had transformed. Not from any drastic dieting or extreme workouts, but from her newfound commitment to nourishing herself—mentally and physically. 

The most striking difference, though, wasn’t visible to the eye. It was the way she carried herself now. Zara was no longer tethered to the emotional rollercoaster of seeking validation through relationships. There were inevitable highs and lows of life, but none of them were tied to a man. For the first time in years, her emotional state wasn’t fluctuating based on someone else’s actions—or inaction. The feeling of constant uncertainty and the weight of questioning herself had lifted. She was owning her life, and it felt good.

It wasn’t long after Zara had finally started feeling at peace with herself that Gage entered her life. It was one of those serendipitous moments—unexpected, yet somehow perfectly timed. They met at a mutual friend’s gathering, and from the moment their eyes met across the room, there was something there. Something soft but magnetic, like a spark that didn’t need to burn bright to be undeniable.

Gage was everything Zara had hoped for, but in ways she hadn’t even known she needed. He was ambitious, emotionally intelligent, family-oriented—check, check, check. The charisma he exuded was effortless, and every conversation felt like a dance, filled with laughter, depth, and connection. He wasn’t just there; he was present, really present, in a way Zara hadn’t experienced in a long time. And he didn’t just listen—he understood. He never made her question herself or her worth, never left her wondering about his intentions or whether she was enough. 

It was like he was the perfect pizza, with every base layer done right—the crust, the sauce, and the toppings.. Ambitious, loyal, funny, engaging… And yet, he didn’t just fit into the boxes she had set out. He brought his own spices into her life—those little extras that added something unexpected, something she didn’t even know she was missing.

He had this quiet confidence, the kind that didn’t need to shout, but was so incredibly magnetic. The way he made her feel safe to be herself, yet challenged her to grow in the best ways. He wasn’t afraid to be vulnerable with her, sharing his own story—his own dreams and fears—making her realize just how much she had been holding back in her previous relationships.

Then there were the smaller things, the spontaneous surprises that never felt like too much—the thoughtful text messages during his busy days, the way he remembered the smallest details, like the fact that she liked her coffee with oat milk and cinnamon. The moments when he would encourage her to take time for herself, pushing her to maintain the boundaries she’d worked so hard to build. He wasn’t just there for the highs—he showed up for the lows, too, with a steady presence that calmed the storms in her mind.

Zara quickly realized that with Gage, she wasn’t losing herself; she was growing with him. She didn’t have to sacrifice her independence or the love she had worked so hard to cultivate for herself. Instead, he enhanced it. He was a partner who didn’t need to complete her, but added value to her already complete life.

For the first time in a long time, Zara didn’t have to second-guess her worth. She didn’t feel like she was trying to prove something. With Gage, everything flowed naturally, like a symphony of perfectly balanced flavors coming together effortlessly. He was the pizza she hadn’t known she was craving—someone who was exactly what she needed, yet so much more than what she had imagined. The perfect blend of everything that had been missing in her past relationships.

She smiled to herself, the realization settling in as she sat across from him, his laughter filling the air. He wasn’t the fairytale she’d once dreamed of. He was better—he was real. And in that realness, Zara found the kind of love that not only made her heart soar but kept her feet firmly grounded.